Three's Company, Four's a Crowd
by Ellie Meowington
Summary: How will the employees of Reynholm Industries react when they get a new employee in their IT department? What adventures await Jen, Richmond, Moss, and Roy when Rosalind enters their life? Contains several OCs. RoyxOC, RichmondxJen, MossxOC, and an intentional Larry Stu, possible Mary Sue. This is my first fanfiction. No flames, please. CC is welcome. M for swears/adult content.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello, Internet! This is my first fanfiction about my recent fandom, The IT Crowd. I have LOVED this show for quite some time and decided that I would write a story since I have watched the entire series 12 times. Ha ha. Well, on with the show. I haven't much more to say. :P**

Day 1

"Rosalind Erin McEvans. Hmmm..."

Douglas Reynholm looked at the photo of a pale girl with brown eyes and asymmetrical, short red hair. He then referred to the file, including height, weight, and measurements.

"36 DD? By God, woman, send her in!"

Douglas pointed to the door and his personal assistant ran out to fetch the potential employee.

Rosalind sat with her legs crossed and self-consciously straightened her black and white striped jacket. She had hoped that a jacket over a tee shirt and a pair of black jeans with boots would suffice. She didn't really have job interview attire considering she had just gotten out of college and had been a starving artist/college student. It hadn't affected her weight though, much to her dismay. She didn't own anything formal. As it was, she was wearing Stevie's blazer from before she had gotten mono.

She had planned on being the Andy Warhol of the communication age. She had to make a living somehow, so graphic/web design for a corporation it was.

"Rosalind Erin McEvans!" Ross sprung from her seat.

"Me, I'm Ross. Hi." She stood uncomfortably.

"Mister Reynholm will see you now. Follow me." Ross picked up her messenger bag and hoped that nobody noticed the various patches for almost every member of The Avengers and Justice League she had lovingly sewn on.

'I really need to go shopping after I get a job..." She thought to herself. She straightened her clothes once more and took a deep breath before stepping in.

She slapped on a fake smile. "Hello, Mr. Reynholm! My name is Rosalind McE-"

"Sit down, Sugar Tits!"

Ross's jaw dropped and she plopped down on the bench that resembled two pairs of groping hands. She regained her composure then proceeded to extract her portfolio from her bag.

"If you would like, Mr. Reynholm, you may take a look through my portfolio. It shows many facets of my artistic ability and I hope you find it to be pleasing."

"Does it have photos of naked women?"

"It has anatomy study drawing of wo-"

"You're hired." Douglas plucked the portfolio out of her hands and stuck it in his desk drawer. "I will keep this for future reference."

Ross beamed and felt like her smile would tear her mouth open. "Brilliant! Thank you, Mr. Reynholm! You won't be disappointed!"

There was a moment of awkward silence as Douglas stared at her cleavage for an extended period.

She cleared her throat. "Mr. Reynholm?"

"Ahh! I'm sorry, Rosalind. My father used to always size up his new employees with a nice, long stare." Douglas raised his eyes and extended an arm to the Heavens. "Thanks you, Father!" He exclaimed melodramatically.

"Thank you, Mr. Reynholm." Ross said politely.

"Now what is it you do again?"

"Well, I have many skills and certifications, as you can see on my CV. I work on web pages, video production, and many different computer applications. I-"

"Hold on there. Did you say computers? Welcome to Reynholm Industries!"

"Uh, thanks. Which department am I assigned to?"

"IT, of course!"

"Wait, what?" Ross wore a confused expression.

"You start tomorrow. You're excused."

Ross stood and shook his hand. "Thank you for this opportunity, Mr. Reynholm."

She picked up her bag and walked out the door.

"I hate to see her leave, but love watching her go." He said to his PA.

"Douglas. Remember the electric pants." She turned and walked out of the door.

Ross got to the hallway and was still grinning like a moron. She found the nearest restroom, shut the door behind her. She dropped her bag on the ground and start squealing and jumping up and down. "I got a job!" She continued her celebration, squealing more and more.

"Ahem!" She heard someone clear their throat behind her. She spun around and to ,her surprise, found a man and woman in the middle of a heated session of snogging.

"Do you mind?" The woman shouted.

Rosalind picked up her bag, mumbled her apologies, ad made her way to the lobby.

"Lord, I hope I'm ready for this."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Ahhh! I would like to personally thank 24peach24 for my very first review! I need to make you cookies! :D And I think I forgot the disclaimer last time.**

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own anything associated with the IT Crowd. All rights go to Graham Linehan. I only own, Stevie, and Cillian. This is not for profit. Now, on with the show! **

Day 2

Ross walked into the lobby of Reynholm Industries add looked at the instructions she had written down from the message left in her voicemail. She approached the receptionist who barely glanced at her badge, popped her gum, and waved her on with her perfectly filed hot pink nails. Ross stepped into the lift and pressed the sparking, corroded button for the lowest level. She then fought to pry the door open further to be able to pass through.

"Now I know how a Balrog feels…" She mumbled to herself.

With an exasperated sigh, she threw her bag through the crack in the door.

"C'mon you piece of…" She cursed in her Manhattan American accent that was starting to pick up more of a London tone to it. She then saw a beautiful redhead in pumps and a wrap dress walking toward the lift.

"Excuse me? Hey! Hey! Could you give me a hand?" She called to the woman.

"Oh, God! Nobody warned you about the bloody lift?" The lady dropped her purse and helped pry the door open enough for her to pull her frame through sideways. She stumbled out and heard the sound of fabric ripping. She gasped and panted as she felt her clothes, looking for the rip.

"You ripped your jacket.' Jen pointed out and grimaced.

"Great." Ross sighed and took it off. So much for being formal."

She wrapped her arms around her Umbrella Corporation t-shirt, trying to hide the logo and feeling a bit self-conscious.

"Oh, it's okay, really. Nobody cares down here." She extends her hand. "I'm Jen Barber, IT Relationship Manager. And you are?"

Ross's eyes widened. "Umm, hi, I'm Rosalind McEvans. Pardon my manners, or lack thereof." Ross smiled nervously.

"You must be the new person for our department. I really wasn't expecting another girl. Oh, this will be such a relief!" Jen smiled eagerly.

Ross followed Jen into the door of the dingy basement. There she saw two occupied desks, one that was meticulously clean and the other was piled high with food wrappers and scattered papers. Next to the messy one sat a vacant desk that she assumed to be hers. She saw two men walk out of the canteen. One of the men had wavy, brown hair and blue eyes and another had a meticulously styled puff of dark curls and brown eyes. The blue eyed man was waving his arms around and speaking excitedly in an Irish accent.

"I'm telling you, Moss, having to pick between DC and Marvel is like choosing which limb you want to keep! Marvel has more flawed and relatable characters while DC clearly…"

"Sets the archetype for the classic superhero." Rosalind interjected.

Roy's jaw dropped as he turned his head to the source of the female voice. He saw Ross and grinned stupidly.

"Christ, you're one of them!" Jen groaned.

"Hello!" Moss said as he held his beloved coffee mug. "Who are you?"

"Hello. My name is Rosalind, but you all may call me Ross. I'm the new media specialist."

"Then why are you in IT?" Moss asked. "Shouldn't you be somewhere else? You're not really qua-"

"No, no, no, Moss! She's fine, perfectly fine! I'm Roy!" Roy said with a high pitched voice as he covered Moss's mouth with his hands.

Moss pried Roy's hands from his mouth. "Qualified." He finished.

Jen forced a smile. "I'm sure you'll make her feel right at home, guys." She walked off, rolling her eyes. "Try to get some work done!" She shouted before entering her office.

Ross started unpacking a bag of items to place on her desk. She pulled out a Joker plush, a Powerpuff Girls pen holder, a Nyan Cat bobble toy, and several photo frames of a girl with long, black tresses and green eyes, a ginger boy with glasses and blue eyes, and Ross including graduation photos, prom photos, and pictures of the three in costumes.

Roy strolled over casually to Ross's desk and picked up a framed collage of photo booth pictures, one in which Ross was kissing the ginger boy on the cheek caught her attention. He felt his heart drop at the very sight of it.

"Is this your boyfriend?" Roy asked with a forced smile that looked more like indigestion.

"Oh! No, no! That's my friend, Cillian! We grew up together back in the States. He was my neighbor. He's like a brother to me."

"You're single! That's brilliant!" Roy sighed in relief.

"I'm as single as single gets." Ross chuckled. "I'm all alone…" She sang. She stood there rocking back and forth on her heels as they stood in awkward silence. She pointed and tried to break the silence. "I like your Drinky Crow…"

Jen walked out of her office to find the two of them still standing in awkward silence that she assumed to be the way that geeks flirted.

"Ahem!" The two snapped out of their non-conversation and Moss looked up from his monitor.

"There was a call up on the seventh floor. Roy, would you like to go and take care of it?"

"Oh, no! Let Moss take care of it." Roy waved his hand dismissively.

"It's a call…from the girls…on seventh, Roy."

"Moss, would you do the honors?"

Moss sprayed his hot ear, took a dose of his inhaler, and popped a polo mint in his mouth. "Don't mind if I do, Roy." He straightened his tie and shuffled out the door.

Jen turned to Roy with an astonished look. "I've never seen you pass up a call to seventh. Are you alright, Roy?"

"Well, I just thought I'd give Ross a tour, ya know, 'show her the ropes.'"

"I'm sure she can manage. Get back to work." Jen turned on her heel and walked back to her office. She was beginning to think she didn't like having another girl around.

**A/N: I'm sorry I took so long to update. . I've had chaos in my life. First, a power outage, now Tech Week. I promise I'll try to update more regularly. xoxoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: A big thank you to everyone that reviewed and the favorites! Unfortunately, I lost my notebook, then my password for my account. I am a forgetful kitty. :S Anyway, onward with chapter 3!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The IT Crowd, Moss, Roy, Jen, Richmond, etc. I only own my OCs. Please don't sue me. **

"Okay, Ross. I'm assuming you know a thing or two about computers." Roy strutted around the office, accidently tripping on an extension cord and falling on his face. Ross ran to his side.

"Roy?! Are you alright?" She crouched down at his side.

Ross grabbed a tissue and attempted to stop Roy's nose from bleeding.

"Fanks, Ross." Roy tipped his head back and stopped the bleeding. "As, I was saying you probably know about computers, but just leave everything to the experts."

The phone rang and Roy rolled his eyes. He stomped over to his desk then slumped into his office chair. He then took a long swig of his coffee as the phone rang multiple times. He scoffed, rolled his eyes, and then finally picked up the phone after a dozen or so rings.

"IT, have you tried turning it off and on again?" He paused for a moment. "Is it definitely plugged in?" There was another pause

"The cord, the cord that runs from the computer and into the outlet for the electricity!" Roy pinched the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb.

"The outlet! The things that plugs go into on the wall, you Neanderthal!" He slammed down the phone, sighed, and hung his head in his hands.

"How can a person possibly be so stupid?!"

Ross's phone started to ring and she looked at it with wide eyes.

"Uh…this wasn't in the job description." Ross grimaced and picked up the phone.

"IT Department. This is Ross." She paused. "Oh, okay, it's frozen? Look at your keyboard. You will want to push 'control, alt, and delete' simultaneously." She paused once more.

"C-T-R-L, A-L-T, delete. I'm sorry; Roy is not available at the moment." Roy gave her a thumbs up from his desk as he rests his head on top of it.

"Would you like me to come in there, Jen? I'll be in. " Ross hung up and rose from her desk as Jen darted out of her office as quickly as her pumps could carry her. "No, no, no!" She flailed her arms. "That isn't necessary. I ….I was just testing you! Yeah! That's right! A test!"

Moss walked through the door and overheard the conversation. "But you don't know a thing about computers!" He said, wiping a lipstick stain from his face.

"I know plenty about comp-puters!" Jen shouted.

Roy winced. "It's 'computers'!"

"Oh, whatever!" Jen walked back into her office and collapsed into her desk chair.

"She's making me look bad!" She whimpered.

Some time passed and lunch eventually rolled around. Ross sat reading a copy of Shojo Beat with a Rolling Stone encasing it to hide the cover.

"Since when did Rolling Stone start running comics in blue and pink?" said a voice from behind her, giving her a start and causing her to throw both magazines up into the air and knock her coffee all over her shirt.

"Shit!" Ross swore and wiped her shirt with a piece of printer paper.

"Here you go." A pale hand offered her a purple handkerchief intricately embroidered with black damask designs.

"Sorry about that. I didn't mean to give you a fright. That happens more often than you would think." The man came into view.

"You may want to change your shirt. I'll pay to have that one cleaned. It should clear up nicely."

Luna grinned at the pale, lithe goth gentleman with glossy ebony hair.

"Hi." Ross. Smiled dumbly. "I'm Rosalind. You can call me Ross."

"Hello. It's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Richmond Avenal." He took her hand in his and gave it a kiss which caused Ross to giggle madly.

"Well, you should get out of that shirt."

"I agree!" Roy grinned eagerly. "I mean, I have a spare in me bag. I always carry it with me ever since the coffee incident."

"Boy, was that a great day!" Moss smiled.

"No! No, it wasn't, Moss! It was a horrible day! The worst day of my life!" Roy shrieked.

"May I have the shirt, please? Ross asked nervously.

"Oh, yeah, sure!" Roy handed her a Space Invaders shirt and grazed her hand with a smile.

"I have a Cradle of Filth shirt, if you prefer, Ross." Richmond motioned to the red door.

"Oh, no. I don't really like Cradle of Filth. Thanks, though." Ross smiled and walked into a store room to change.

Richmond shook his head and sighed. "She doesn't like Cradle of Filth. That's bloody awful."

Roy made an awkward motion of victory. "HA! Take THAT, Peter Murphy!"

Richmond glared at him and they both regained composure as Ross walked out of the store closet. She had to admit; Roy's baggy shirt was very comfortable and smelled surprisingly pleasant.

"Thanks, Roy." Ross said with a smile.

"So, fancy a bite to eat?" Roy asked her.

"Not today, Roy. There's a fascinating documentary about the history of Ubuntu and I would like to compare the research I've done to that of the filmmaker."

"Not you, Moss!"

"I would love to." Ross said with a smile.

"Richmond, would you like to come with us?"

"Oh, no, thank you. I only go out at night." Richmond said as he avoided a stray beam of sunlight peeking through the basement window on his way back to the server room.

"Is Chinese take-away fine with you, Roy?" Ross asked.

"Brilliant." Roy said and grabbed is jacket from a hook on the back of the door. "Jen, I'll be back in an hour! I'm going out for a bite!"

Jen came out of her office. "What? You never go out for…"

Roy helped Ross with her bag and slammed the door.

"But he never goes out for lunch…" Jen muttered.


End file.
